I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
