I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
