i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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