What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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