i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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