lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
