you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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