I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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