i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize