get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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