Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
home. puking in laundry basket.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize