I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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