I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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