you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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