it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
well you can't waste a boner
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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