Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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