Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
