So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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