Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
