No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
