we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i out mim tonsoeep
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