Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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