The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
