Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
