Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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