Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
