Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize