the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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