oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
