so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
