No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
