i'm signing you up for texting rehab
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
