I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
