it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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