i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
