Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
