she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
