i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
