Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
