I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
