I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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