I CAN MOONWALK!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
