Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I could fuck to npr.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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