hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
