Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
