i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
