my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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