May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
