Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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