Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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