I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
