the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
